Hello folks, time for an update, though this time it’s not related to my various hobby projects. The subject of today’s post blatant rant is airline travel!
Last week, me and my fiancee were travelling to Amsterdam to celebrate her birthday. Initially we were going to fly from Newcastle Airport, but having done some research, we instead decided to go with Durham Tees Valley. The airline we chose was KLM, as my better half had used them before and was more than happy with the service they provide.
Now, before I get into the rant, I will stress this about KLM. Once we actually managed to get on the plane, I couldn’t fault them. All the staff were friendly, you got free drink and snacks, and it was a pleasant, uneventful flight (both heading out and coming home).
Right, so the tale begins last Monday evening. Preparations for the trip were slightly delayed due to “a quick pint at the Elm Tree” turning into 6 or 7. So, with ale inside us, we headed home to order pizza, pack the bags and sort out the online check-in for the flights. I got the pizza ordered whilst my fiancee goes to check us in. But there’s a problem! It checks her in, no problem, but when we attempt to check my in, it refuses a boarding pass. Instead it gives us a voucher to exchange for a boarding pass once we arrive at the airport. Nowhere does it mention that there is a problem and that I don’t have a seat. So I tell her not to worry, we’ll obviously just rock up at check-in in the morning, hand it over to the nice person on the desk, and get my pass.
Fast forward to Tuesday morning, where we find ourselves at the queue for check-in at Durham Tees Valley, over 2 hours before the flight is due to leave, joking about how funny it would be if I didn’t get on the plane, knowing full well that it wasn’t going to be the case!
Us: “Hi, we had a slight issue with online check-in last night, it only checked one of us in, and gave us this to exchange for the second boarding pass”.
KLM: “Ok let me take a look at that. Right, I’m afraid you don’t have a seat.”
Us: “I’m sorry?”
KLM: “The flight is overbooked, so you don’t have a seat.”
So at this point, mild frustration is replaced by growing anger and disbelief. I remember watching episodes of Airport when I was younger, and laughing at those angry people shouting at airline staff for “no reason”. Now I fully understand where those people were coming from and apologise for how I looked down upon them. But, we attempt to be reasonable and find out what the options are.
Us: “Is there a flight we can catch later?”
KLM: “No, because that one’s overbooked too. There’s one from Leeds this afternoon.”
Us: “What about Newcastle?”
KLM: “No, those are overbooked as well.”
And so this continues for a while. At this point, the “Us” part of the “discussion” becomes “Me” making my displeasure very clear. I demand to know how this can happen, and when I get the answer, the curve on the graph that illustrates the growth of my anger grows exponentially steeper. The reason, apparently, is that it is KLM’s policy (and this is permitted by law, might I add) to oversell flights. In case people don’t turn up. Covering losses and so on. Though it occurred to me later, what losses? If someone pays for a ticket and doesn’t show up, kerching! You’ve just been paid to not fly someone somewhere. So it seems the standard practice is to sell that already-paid-for seat to another passenger, at full price, before you even know if it’s empty or not. And if everyone turns up and crashes your profit-boosting party? Ah, who cares, just tell them that they can wait until check-in closes to see if there’s space for them on the flight. And if not, throw them some token compensation and try to get them on another flight sometime in the next few days. Which when you’re only going away for 3 days anyway is a bit pointless.
So we head through to the departure lounge to wait for 2 hours to find out if we’re on the flight or not. Or, rather, we try to. We get to the security area, to be refused through as we have not paid the “Passenger Facility Fee” that we knew nothing about. I stare blankly at the security guard. He stares blankly back. I ask him if he’s some kind of comedian, because if he is, he’s not very good. So, how does this come to be?
Well, Durham Tees Valley is a small airport. It’s a field, with a length of tarmac and a shed that they like to call a terminal. It’s less than an hour’s drive from Newcastle airport. And it’s in danger of being closed as it makes no money. So, rather than trying to make it a more attractive option to fly from and to, or attempting to add value, they chose to impose a £6 per person Passenger Facility Fee. Y’know, in addition to the airport fees that you already pay as part of your ticket… I now like to think of this Passenger Facility Fee as a “Crap Airport Tax”. And, it turns out, even if you don’t know whether you actually have a seat on the flight or not, you still have to pay this fee!
Now, as you probably guessed from the start of the post, we got on the flight. However, there were others who did not. We were, and I use the term incredibly loosely here, “lucky”. Other people, who had paid for their ticket and turned up expecting to fly out to Amsterdam, were turned away. But we still had to sit around not knowing what was going on until they were actually boarding the plane. And luckily, there the bad experiences ended. Until returning, and having to go through Durham Tees Valley that is and make use of it’s rather neglected facilities. So do us all a favour, close the place down, use the land for something useful, and redirect people to Newcastle.
We did however have a great time in Amsterdam! And now I’ve got the rant off my chest, I’m going to type it up in a slightly more official way and send it to KLM and Durham Tees Valley to see how they defend themselves!
Commander Culln.
